I have a SECRET I've never told anyone.

I have a secret I've never told anyone, not even my husband.

When you see a headline like this, your mind flies in all directions. What could it be?

No, this is not a ruse to get you to read my blog, exactly.

And no it's not a secret affair or deep, dark sin I've committed. And some of you may say, "Oh, man!"

Okay, not to leave you in suspense any longer. As many of you know and some may not, my husband Ron and I were missionaries for 17 years in South Africa. My SA friends and students may be shocked at this, but here's the secret.

I never wanted to be a missionary. 

Some people I know have dreamed of being a missionary since they were kids, always talking about their dream of being a missionary. You would be surprised at how many people have said this to us. But they have never gone to the mission field.

But I can honestly say, I never had such a dream. In fact, to tell the total and unvarnished truth, I didn't like missionaries. When they came by the church to speak, I didn't like them. They seemed so strange to me, wore funny clothes, talking about places I wasn't remotely interested in.

And to this day, I can't say I am particularly fond of missions or missionaries. Does this shock you? I hope so.

Cause you see, in my opinion, we have romanticized missions and distorted the reality of missions until we don't have clue as to what it really is. Some people love supporting missions, sending barrels of old clothing, worn out books and the Lord knows what else to the deserving heathen. There are horror stories you wouldn't believe. What a bunch of nonsense this is. 

When we arrived in South Africa, I was 44 years old and 3 kids. I did not want to be called a missionary, for this reason, because I felt it separated me too much from the people. You African, me missionary. I never as God is my witness wanted that, but I did want and hope we were able to accomplish in spite of the "title" was make a connection with the people on their playing field.

The African people we were privileged to walk among are some of the finest people on earth. I absolutely adore them and honor them. They are amazing, on-fire preachers and teachers of the gospel of Jesus Christ. They were that way when we met them and they are still that way.

Thank God the "face of missions" has changed somewhat, but there is still the old mind set towards missions. In fact, we might do well to change the name: enablers, come-along-side, co-laborers as Paul said, anything but the picture of the Great White Missionary with his barrels, and long suffering wife, and pasty faced kids working among the naked savages.

So now you know my SECRET. I never wanted to be a missionary. And I still don't want to be considered a missionary. I just hope that you can call me Friend.

Love to all.